Wednesday, September 15th 2004

6:10 PM

Advantages and disadvantages

Score (Ecs vs Others): 4-4

Today is the day it seems... no internet at home. My login and password still work in the computers of the cluster room, but I don't know how long... by monday I will no longer be a student, in fact, I will join the hordes of homeless of this city. I might not be able to post as often as I used to, but I will do my best to keep you informed, at least once a week.

Well, as promised, I wanted to discuss what it means to go to this place in switzerland (I have already reserved my ticket to visit them... I feel a bit anxious).

First, the advantages:

1)Tthe fact I will be able to finish my Ph.D in three years time, instead of 5, like is customary in the USA.

2) Call me lazy, but I don't feel like going through any more courses and exams. At least for now.

3) This is entirely personal, but I love I will be speaking mainly in Italian, a language I thought I wouldn't use in my career. In fact, a language I thought I would hardly use at all.

3b- Switzerland is at the core of two cultures I like a lot: the french and the italian one. So I would be able to use both languages!

4)I will be teaching from day one and that is really exciting. In this place, you usually have to wait for a year.

5)Applied microeconomics: Nice topic.

6)Group work, and a lot of interaction among colleagues. And these colleagues come from different backgrounds. It is not as multicultural as London, but anyways....

7)Small town, less stress.

8)Nice weather (or at least better than here). How depressing was last winter here!

9) It seems that they really want me there. And that makes me feel special, which is really important after this year being nobody and feeling stupid.

10)They are recognising my MSc as part of the Ph.D programme. Where can I find that?

The disadvantages

1) A completely unknown and young university. Unknown professors too.

2)A small university and department so I don't expect to find as much logistical support as I did here. That might imply small libraries, not many computers, etc.

3)Having to start right away... I hope I won't feel as tired as I feel now.

4)Last but not least, is the biggest issue of all: I would have to leave my boyfriend of the last 4 and a half years.

*Is it really worth to pursue my career happiness forgetting about my emotional well being?*

The way things look now, I feel this is a great academic opportunity and a great achievement too. It might be a way of releving myself of all the preasures I usually put on me. But it might just leave me empty "hearted". An emotional dilemma.

Because I finally feel some recognition of all what I went through here, because it finally seems to be fruitful, Economics is back in the game 4-4. But the emotional dilemma is close to score another goal.

15 among the flock.

Posted by LILI:

Today I decided to read your writings, a lot of feelings many of what I have had sometimes, leaving somebody but growing intellectual is always a big dilemma, best of lucks!! I liked your post:)

Thursday, September 16th 2004 @ 12:15 AM